How Can I?

How can I tell you not to cry
when tears are streaming down my face?
 
How can I tell you not to be afraid
when I walk around in constant anxiety?
 
How can I tell you to be strong
when sometimes I can barely lift my head?
 
How can I tell you to just have faith
when I’m not sure I believe in it?
 
But how can I tell you to just give up
when I need you here with me so much?
 
And how can I tell you it’s not worthwhile
when there is at least one spec of joy awaiting.
 
All I can say is this is your life
and I respect the way you are feeling.
 
And although I can’t take this away from you
I’ll walk with you as long as you need me.

Perspective

When even the rainbow colors are merely shades of gray,
I know it is only my dark glasses.

The Valley of Despair

Lost
in a twilight world
where memories and reality overlay,
 
I walk in a fog of pointlessness
uncaring where I go
or what I do.
 
Mountains loom on either side
and close up behind me as I go,
forcing me forward, ever forward.
 
But to where?
Why?
What does it matter?
 
Still, I go.

The Hope of Hope

How does that Paul Simon song go?
“When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all.”
 
That is hope
for a better day.
 
But, when no one is there
to dry your tears,
and no one notices
how weary you are,
 
then all you are left with
is the hope of hope.

Modern Living

Life is a circle.
Spinning round and round we go,
getting nowhere, fast.

A Thin White Scar

It breaks my heart,
all these changes
that leave memories
only in my mind.

I am lost,
looking for the people and places
that now exist only
in the memories.

I know there will be
new memories
new places
new joys

but my heart grieves
for all that is gone
and the losses will always leave
a thin white scar.

Still the Darkness

The days are getting longer.
Still, the darkness lingers.

In the distance, a glimmer of brightness.
Still, the darkness hovers.

The hope we once held close seems far away, as,
still, the darkness hides it.

So we wait, and prepare, and believe in the day
when a shining new morning will finally

still the darkness.

Haiku for a Basement Bug

Life is hard enough
without a big stomping foot
so just let it be

January Darkness

As darkness falls on another January day,
I fade with the dimming of my eyes.

I seek rest, desire comfort,
but the darkness only numbs.

One bright thing, that’s all I require.
Just one joyful thought, but even that is elusive.

I can’t hide from the deepening shadows.
I can only look for a single spark to light my meager candle.

Where are you now?

For Joanne on the death of her long time partner, Bill

Where are you now,
my love, my friend, my dear companion?

Where are you now,
without pain, without burden?

Where are you now,
in a fresh new existence?

Where are you now,
when I miss you so badly?

Where are you now,
besides here in my heart and memories forever?